Call her normal? What Americans think about sex and marriage
Surveys about sex, marriage, Alex Cooper, China, the FIFA World Cup, AI, shoes, fitness, performance-enhancing drugs, children's television, and Donald Trump's policies.
Most American adults hold fairly open attitudes about premarital sex, and few see anything hypocritical or strange about young adults having dated casually in their 20s before later settling down, a new YouGov poll finds.
The poll was fielded soon after podcaster Alex Cooper announced her pregnancy with husband Matt Kaplan. This sparked some criticism of Cooper from conservatives who argued that there was a conflict between pro-casual sex messages on Cooper’s podcast, Call Her Daddy, and her personal decision to have a marriage and child herself. Others defended Cooper as following a fairly normal life path.
YouGov’s polling finds Cooper herself is not well-known: 68% of U.S. adult citizens have no opinion about her, while 19% have a very or somewhat favorable opinion of her and 14% have an unfavorable opinion.
But 65% of Americans say it’s not hypocritical if someone famous who has publicly endorsed casual sex gets married and has children, while 15% say it is.
Conservatives and people who oppose premarital sex are more likely than others to say this is hypocritical, but even among these groups more say it’s not hypocritical than say it is.
There’s not much disagreement between liberals and conservatives about whether it’s normal for a woman — or for a man — to spend their 20s dating casually and then get married and have children. Almost all liberals, moderates, and conservatives say this is either very normal or somewhat normal, for both men and for women. Liberals are more likely than conservatives to say this is very normal for both men and women, but even among conservatives, around half say this is very normal for each of men (51%) and women (50%).
Thinking something is normal is not necessarily the same thing as thinking something is good. But majorities of liberals and conservatives also say they strongly or somewhat approve of men and women dating casually in their 20s and then marrying and settling down.
Wedding time
YouGov asked Americans whether they think a range of ages generally are good ages for men and women to marry for the first time, or whether those ages are too young or too old for a first marriage. Cooper, 31, married Kaplan at age 29, in the middle of a range that almost all Americans say is a good age for women to get married. 85% of Americans say 28 is a good age for a woman to get married for the first time, the highest saying this for any of the ages YouGov asked about. 84% say 30 is a good age to get married, and 80% say 32 is. At least three-quarters of Americans say 25 (78%) and 35 (75%) are good ages for women to get married.
44% of Americans say 21 years old is too young for a woman to get married for the first time, while 49% say it’s a good age. Most say 18 and 16 are each too young (77% and 91%, respectively).
Majorities of Americans say 40 and 45 are both good ages for a woman to get married for the first time (61% and 55%). Only 36% say 60 is a good age for a woman’s first marriage, while 46% say this is too old.
YouGov asked this same question about good ages for men to get married. Like with women, Americans are most likely to say the late 20s and early 30s are a good age for men to get married for the first time. But Americans’ views on ideal male marriage ages skew slightly older than their views on when women should get married. For example, while 44% of Americans say 21 is too young for a woman to get married, 55% say 21 is too young for a man to get married.
For every age under 30 asked about, more Americans say that age is a good age for women to marry for the first time than say so about men. For every age over 30, more say it’s a good age for men to marry than say so about women. The same share — 84% each — say age 30 is a good age for men and for women to get married for the first time.
For both men and for women, conservatives are more likely than liberals to say each age under 30 is a good age to first get married, and liberals are more likely to say ages over 30 are good marriage ages.
Sex, and when to have it
Overall, 81% of U.S. adult citizens say they’ve had sex, while 11% say they haven’t and 8% prefer not to say.
Almost all of the 38% of Americans who are currently married say they’ve had sex before — 95%, while 4% prefer not to say.
Among Americans who aren’t currently married, 73% say they’ve had sex, 18% say they haven’t, and 10% prefer not to say.
Unmarried women are slightly more likely than unmarried men to say they’ve had sex (76% vs. 68%).
Among unmarried American adults, younger ones are much less likely than older ones to have had sex: 43% of unmarried adults under 30 say they’ve had sex, compared to 70% of 30- to 44-year-olds, 88% of 45- to 64-year-olds, and 97% of those 65 and older.
Most unmarried people in relationships say they’ve had sex (88% say yes and 3% say no), while unmarried people not currently in relationships are less likely to have had sex (67% vs. 23%).
Asked to choose between two views, Americans are twice as likely to say that people don’t need to wait until marriage to have sex than to say that people should wait (58% vs. 28%). Men and women are about equally likely to be fine with premarital sex (58% and 59%).
People who say they have had sex before are more likely than those who say they haven’t to say premarital sex is okay (63% vs. 51%).
Almost all Americans who say they’re very liberal are fine with sex before marriage (85%), as are 73% of those who are liberal but not very liberal, and 60% of those who are moderate. People who are conservative but not very conservative are closely divided: 46% say they align more with the view that people should wait until marriage before having sex, and 43% say they don’t need to. Among the very conservative, 64% endorse waiting until marriage and 30% say it’s not needed.
The more important that Americans say religion is to them, the more likely they are to endorse waiting until marriage, a view that is closer to the opinion of 54% of those who say religion is very important to them, 25% of those who say it’s somewhat important, 11% of those who say it’s not too important, and 3% of those who say it’s not at all important.
Charting Opinions
How Americans view U.S.-China relations
The U.S. system of government is preferred by many over the Chinese one. More Americans think the U.S. is better governed than China than say the reverse (43% vs. 16%); 17% say the two countries have about equal governance quality. Slightly more Americans believe that the U.S. rather than China is more economically powerful (36% vs. 27%); 21% say they have a similar amount of economic power. By a larger margin, Americans believe the U.S. is richer than China (41% vs. 21%); 15% say the two countries are about the same. (Taylor Orth)
What Americans think about the 2026 World Cup
How much would Americans pay for a ticket to attend a World Cup match that includes the U.S. team? 14% say the most they would be willing to spend is under $100. 7% would pay between $100 and $299, 4% would pay $300 to $599, and 2% would pay $600 or more.
Among people who are very interested in the World Cup, 26% would pay between $100 and $299 for tickets to a match that includes the U.S. team. One-fifth (20%) would spend $300 to $599, and 12% say the most they would spend is between $600 and $999. 5% of people who are very interested in the World Cup say they would spend $1,000 or more. (Jamie Ballard)
Parents of children under 18 are more likely to say parents should let their children use AI tools
Most Americans (55%) say it is a bad idea for parents to let their children use AI tools. 42% of parents with children under 18 and 58% of other adults say this. Fewer Americans (16%) say it is a good idea for parents to let their children use AI tools. 30% of parents with children under 18 and 13% of other adults say this.
Quick takes
Shoes: 64% of Americans say they usually sit down to put on their shoes, and 32% usually do so while standing up
Fitness: 10% of Americans say they are very physically fit, while 44% say they’re somewhat fit, 30% say they’re not very fit, and 13% say they’re not at all fit
PEDs: 60% of Americans say allowing athletes to all use performance-enhancing drugs under medical supervision would make sports less fair, while 5% say it would make sports more fair and 14% say it would make no difference
Television: 2% of Americans say five-year-olds should never be allowed to watch television, while 5% say they should be allowed to watch less than once a week, 30% a few times a week, 31% once a day, 14% several times a day, and 4% as often as they want
Trump’s policies: Six of 24 Trump administration policies and actions that YouGov asked about have more support than opposition, led by NASA’s recent voyage to fly around the moon (64% strongly or somewhat support and 16% oppose), while the least popular of the 24 policies is a new U.S. passport design that includes Trump’s picture (14% support and 69% oppose)
Elsewhere
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Carl Bialik contributed to this newsletter.
SORRY, BUT I FIND THE IDEA OF MONOGAMY TO BE TOO MUCH TO ASK.
THE IDEA OF ONLY BEING WITH ONE PERSON FOR 60 YEARS TO BE TOTALLY ABSURD AND ANTIQUATED.